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Dec 05, 2019
Our shadow self is any part of ourselves that we try to hide or deny because it seems socially or biblically unacceptable.
One definition is that The shadow self is not of itself evil; it just allows you to do evil without recognizing it as evil! Jesus’ phrase for our shadow is “the log in your own eye,” which you instead notice as the “splinter in your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5). That is why Jesus is never upset with sinners, but only with people who pretend they are not sinners.
Our shadow is often subconscious, hidden even from our own awareness. For most of us, it takes effort and life-long practice to look for, find, and embrace our shadow.
There are many ways to do shadow or log work–the work of seeing and integrating your typically hidden and often denied self. One of the easiest ways to discover your shadow is to observe your negative reactions to others and what pushes your buttons. Most often, what annoys you in someone else is a trait in yourself that you haven’t acknowledged.
Byron Katie has a simple process to help you own your judgments and turn your focus to the log in your own eye.
Recall a stressful situation that is still fresh in your mind. Return to that time and place in your imagination.
Name your frustration, fear, or disappointment, and the object of this feeling in a simple statement. For example: I am angry with Bill because he never listens to me.
Now ask yourself four questions with an open heart, waiting for your truest answer to arise:
Turn the thought around in three ways: putting yourself in the other’s place, putting the other person in your place, and stating the exact opposite.
Consider ways in which each “turnaround” might be true in this situation.
This practice brings your vague and nebulous shadow into focus, giving you something tangible to embrace. Do this necessary log work all your life and you’ll discover more and more freedom and greater capacity to love self and others.
Adapted from Byron Katie’s Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet and Four Questions and Richard Rohr’s Meditation: Shadow Work.
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